…

…

…

J.Akira: I wonder how Karis is doing?

=> End Intermission 1

November 2012 is when the horror of Quartz is truly unveiled.

Well, I made to to Pink Town, guess I should have a Look around while I’m here.

I… Guess I’m a trainer? I didn’t have much choice in the matter to be honest!

???

But I don’t want to talk to other trainers >:

IS. EVERYONE. IN. THIS. WORLD. A. PERVERT?

SCORE.

Oh. ):

Oh I WONDER why.

With who? YOURSELF?

I thought it was for healing Pokemon but never mind.

Oh. and what the fuck is a pokebox dot com?

What the fuck is the INTERNET, I have never heard of it in my life.

Web pages? Like… Web’s spiders make?

Well, I guess we’ll have a quick look at Calum while I’m here.

I guess he’s kinda cute? I might shave his Eyebrows off though.

And here we are at Rock Canon… Wonder where that perv has got to…

Oh god there he is… what the heck is he doing?

What is it with you people and skates?

I hope that this information is actually important later.

Well, Let’s make my way around to Mr. Fucking Creepy Face.

… PUT. -THAT-. AWAY!!!

THAT’S NOT EXCUSE FOR GETTING YOUR DONG OUT.

DON’T CALL ME THAT WHILE YOU HAVE THAT THING WAVING AROUND.

I HATE YOU.

NO. I DIDN’T. I WAS DEMANDED HERE BY BARO.

ONLY IF YOU ZIP YOUR PANTS BACK UP.

I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU SO MUCH I’M GLAD CALUM KICKED YOUR ASS.

… No.

“I guess it help’s he’s the ONLY Scientist in Corna but hey.”

Dear GOD he write’s books as well?

NO!

Oh. He just sorta… Run off? Oh well, that’s okay i gue…

SHIT.

Maybe if I can sneak past him…

FUCK!

Yeah I was doing that just before you stopped me.

But, now that you mention it, I’m going back to Pink Town and try get as far away from this place as possible.

CRAP. D: Why not?

So will Gill Grisom be coming? If so can I stick around and wait for him to save me from this mess?

Well I waited for a couple of hours and Gill never came, so I guess I headed back to Breeze town to see what the Creep twins want.

If it’s the same favour you asked for earlier I say no.

… Yeah I see where this is going.

… NO.

You stay away from the Pokemon I catch!

Oh. Um. Maybe this is looking up. So is this thing like an IPhone or what?

No. Stay away from my Pokemon.

Is that that Internet thing cause I still don’t know what the is.

WAIT. So you took our personal infomation and used it WITHOUT our permission.

DIOHGIORHGIH!!!

I’d rather be with Oak right now!

Infact he’s more attractive than either of you and he’s like 90! OH BURN!

GOD I HATE Y…

… PUT. THOSE. AWAY. I ALREADY TOLD YOU ONCE!

D:

…

So Wait a second…

You mean. I can catch these rabid animals… and make them do my bidding?

WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME THIS BEFORE?

WORLD DOMINATION HERE I COME!

Well, I suppose I should start by going and catching some more pokemon for my scheme… also maybe to keep Calum company!

Oh. Hey Mom!

Yeah Sadly he survived without a scratch.

I don’t seem to have much choice.

“Of colse, it helps that he’s the ONLY scientist in the island, but hey”

O… NO PLEASE MOM, STOP ME, BULLSHIT SOME EXCUSE? I DON’T KNOW WHAT… UM. I HAVE HAYFEVER?

and then she passed me some running shoes. COOL.

MOM. NOT YOU AS WELL.

Oh god, please don’t spend my money on berries Mom.

EW. THAT’S GROSS.

*SSIIGGHH*

I see what you did thar.

I give up.

MOOOOM… The not changing my Undies was part of my evil scheeeme!

I… … I’m sorry what?

Well I’m glad I will always be your goat mom.

Oh. Um. Okay BYE MOM.

Oh well, time to inslave some animals I think.

TIFFANY GET.

I. Um. Okay that’s actually kinda adorable.

SIR YAMI GET.

CRYSTAL GET (EXCEPT I DIDN’T PAY ATTENTION TO THE GENDER SO GOT A MALE DIOGFOGHJ FUCK. I’LL SEE IF I CAN REPLACE IT FOR NEXT TIME)

JADE GET.

Alright, now I’ve got my usual team, Let’s have a look 

Calum we already know, but there’s no harm in having another look at him :)

Tiffany is a squirrel who. Um. Hold’s her nuts. And Sir Yami is the most adorable worm ever. .3.

Crystal is a cute little mouse thing, and Jade is a bird with a crown.

Well. I guess NOW this day can’t get any worse!

But. With my team by my side, I’m sure we can get this done :)

BRING ON WORLD DOMINATION!

OH BOY. Guess who found ANOTHER version of Oregon Trail to drag her friends along on :) Hehehe. Let’s go!

(Pokemon Quartz part 2 will come after this, unless I find another game that I can play quickly like this :3)

And so yet again our usual band of misfits, Me, Crystal, Sir Yami, Jade and Tiffany are ready to roll!

Fire we came across some wood and made it though. whoop!

and we’ve already broke part of my car, GOOD.

;________; I’m sorry Mr Police man.

*ssiigghh* We’ve already broken the stereo, got stopped by the police and set the fucking car on fire, this is going well.

It’s against my better judgement BUT LET’S GO…

… Oh ):

Last time we came across water, 2 people died… let’s see if we can change this…

FUCK YEAH!

>_> Well done Jade, well done!

Our current progress :)

FUCK YEAH TURTLE RACES AAAAAAAAAAAA

FUCK YEAH TURTLES!

Oh okay, snowboarding sounds fun!

I… Um. The fuck?

WHAT HAVE I BEEN SMOKING?

Against my better judgement I decided to pick this hitchhiker up.

He seemed okay, just wanted to go to an orchard. Okay.

I was hoping for some money, but food’s good too I guess?

and then we got more fruit. AWESOME

Current progress :)

OH THANKS GUYS!

We went for it, but I discovered I fail dismally at snowboarding and so the rest of it is history.

Can’t say no to a young lady with a dog. I just can’t.

You probably chose the wrong car to get in then heh.

We are very easily amused us lot.

OH GOD DAMMIT TIFFANY STOP VOMITING EVERYWHERE.

Considering how the snowboarding went, are you sure that’s a good idea Crystal Honey?

I… Uh. OKAY?

This is truely the worst news to have hit our team so far ):

Progress again.

OH FOR THE…

… LOVE OF GOD!!!

I’m not sure if Sir Yami stopped speaking to me because we locked ourselves out the car (which fyi it is stated is not my fault >_>) or weither it’s because of the fact I’ve killed her 2 times now…

Oh and maybe that gravestone of mine from last time… That could be it.

GAME OVER

and the final score.

Well… at least no one died this time right?

Still. I can’t help but think there’s something I’ve missed and forgotten about.

J Akira: Hey babe, maybe you’re forgetting me?

…

…

…

FUCK.

*siigghh* okay let’s start this (Also my Started decided it was going to be male, I’m added a new member to our little sherbang :3 I’m sure you’ll like him though.)

(also oopss read more didn’t work, oh well)

We’ll spare you most of Baro’s speech. But not Plug-Oink. Because it is funky. I will need to catch one on this adventure.

I’ve known this guy all my life and he doesn’t know my gender or name? DUDE!

… This is weird, I just woke up in this truck… How did i… Oh god Baro’s standing behind me right?

No!

“We meet at last, Mr. Bond”

That’s a very nice everything you have here… It would be shame if something where to happen to it :)

Tiding the living a bit.

“Even though in like 5 minutes you’re going to go off galavanting around the world fighting off dangerous animals, BUT HEY”

… I’m not sure why you felt the need to tell me that Mom, but thanks?

Kinboxos huh? … They kinda just look like people, but if you say so, I guess they’re KINBOXOS!

Pliz.

I regret trying to talk to these guys.

Dop-e-dop setting my clock, jesus Mom how did you even know i’d finished.

watching tv a bit.

And I bet there will STILL be nothing on =/

This place is weird, I live in the basement… Wait…

I’M LIVING IN MY MOM’S BASEMENT! SJGLDGJOLGHJRFHL!!!

… Um. Okay, let’s look at the map.

O… Oh. It’s Hoenn… with slightly different graphics… … OH.

If he’s not being arrested for loading me onto that van unconscious I don’t want to know Mom.

Oh please let my initial thoughts be correct.

uum, getting mawled by rabid pokemon is close enough i guess!

No Mom he deserves it, let’s just get on with our new life without him…

Yes, he can defend himself and if not, nothing of importance is lost.

What. NO! MOM!

I… I… Well I guess I can do that? So long as -I- don’t have to actually save him, that’s okay.

I am Perrywinkle Von Smash Smosh the third, but you may call me James.

No. I am Perrywinkle Von Smash Smosh the third, did you not listen woman.

Uh. Sure I’d like to meet your goat I guess?

Yeah, he is ON trouble, can you do something, I don’t particularly like him…

… Your goat can use Skates! I am impressed!

Um, okay I’ll go find your Goat!

Wait… That’s not a goat…

…

I suddenly have a bad feeling about this…

… Definitely a bad feeling…

Oh… My… GOD!

No, I am Perrywinkle Von Smash Smosh the Third, really! Do you people not listen to a word I’m saying.

Come near me and I’ll break your face!

Yep, he sure does like going ON that danger!

I… Have no idea what you just said!

… I hate you already!

But… you just introduced yourself?

Oh I get it! You’re Brock’s Illegitimate love child! That explains it!

I really hope you die in some sort of horrendous way, but considering this is pokemon I doubt it’ll happen.

Anyway, Now that’s done I suppose I can just chill out and… what’s that noise?

Oh. Good for him?

I’ll give you 100 Poke kid if you go out there and finish him off.

If by help you mean brutally murder, Okay sure!

No… Mainly because you said Pliz and not Please.

nop! *walks off*

… God I hate you.

Well, I suppose it won’t hurt to see what Pokemon there are around he…

oh…

my…

GOD!!!

I chose the green one I guess? It seemed friendlier than the others.

We managed to beat up the dust rat thing, so I guess that’s good?

… What?

I… Wha… Oh never mind.

Nah I think we can stay out here, they might come back and finish you off :)

It’s a very nice town you’ve got here… it would be a shame if something where to happen to it. ;)

Or give me methods to destroy everything!

Oh. OH! Hey, maybe putting up with you for all these years and having you stuff me in a truck will pay off after all SWEET!

I… Um. Do I have to?

I… Really? Please? Do I have to?

Okay fine, I guess i’ll take it.

No. That is an awful name. Baro, stay away from the naming of my pokemon okay!

There! That’s a good name for him!

… I don’t like where this is going!

Unless it means me destroying stuff, in which case when do I start?

… Nope I… Definitely don’t like where this is going.

… No.

What HIM? No. NO PLEASE ANYONE BUT HIM? HE’S THE ONLY PERSON IN THIS WORLD I HATE MORE THAN YOU.

“Well, I mean, he skated right past me, when he could have grabbed a pokemon and helped but never mind”

… I guess I really have to go get him? UGH.

Well. I guess I’d better go find that fool… I doubt this day could really get much worse…

TO BE CONTINUED /END DRAMATIC VOICE.

I really have no idea.

*siigghh* No ideas, what so ever.

Nope. None.

Oh my god guys, so guess what I just found out there’s a zombie version of Oregon Trail.

SO GUESS WHO DECIDED TO PLAY IT TEEHEE

So, we have the usual sherbang of Me, Crystal, Sir Yami, Tiffany and Jade :)

I thought this would come and bite us in the ass later, but it didn’t seem to.

fighting zombies, FUCK YEAH

Vultures lead us to LOOT!

And then Jade broke an arm doghjgiof

Andy and his Peperony and chease appears again. Didn’t get it screencapped by after you press space a zombies hand comes out of the ground lmao.

): No loot. ):

): nooo

and then Crystal suddenly got better literally one move later LMAO

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

YES AWESOME LOOT! *FIST PUMP*

>:( FUCK YOU

Our current progress :3

And the first time Sir Yami get’s bitten… she get’s bitten a lot.

PARTY IS OUT OF FOOD. FOOD 212 OZ. YEP THAT’S OUT OF FOOD!

At this point I knew there was a reason I’d hoarded like 7 of these things lmao

FIGHTING ZOMBIES, FUCK YEAH!!!!11!!

): Noo.

Health status :)

Tiffany fought the Illness quick quickly too LMAO

aanndd then she got bit by a zombie OOPS ):

and then Sir Yami got bitten AGAIN.

Then we managed to set the car on fire.

Current Progress.

Crystal got Dysentery ):

Then Tiffany BIT Crystal and I killed her because I’m the only one allowed to do that that means she’s a zombie.

SIR YAMI GOT BIT FOR A 3RD TIME.

Well, she may be infected with the T-Virus but at least Crystal recovered from her Dysentary!

Jade also got Bitten. ):

Jade has a thing about breaking her limbs it seems.

Current progress. LOOK HOW CLOSE WE ARE!!!!

Fuckin’ yeah, smashing up moar zombies!

Yep, Jade sure like’s those broken limbs. She apparently passed out thanks to this.

Crystal got Dysentary again ):

and so Crystal Passed out that’s to Dysentary? Okay?

Probubally all those Zombie bites =/

and then, I had to kill Crystal. ): It was for the best, she had dysentary and the t-virus. Also Yami got bit… AGAIN! 4 TIMES! WHAT THE FUCK!

Then Sir Yami decided that I tasted nice and ate me, so I killed her… HOWEVER…

1 Sir Yami bite killed me! FUCK!

and thus ends yet another Oregon Trail adventure… Tiffany died first because I killed her for Biting Crystal, Crystal died next because I killed her again, then Sir Yami who after getting bit 4 times begame a zombie so I killed her, and in return Sir Yami killed me with her deadly zombie noms. Jade was passed out, so one assumes she got eaten by zombies shortly after me and Yami died.

I feel quite sad now, I’ve had to kill 2 of my best friend, my girlfriend, one of my best friends killed me, and our other best friend was left unconscious to be eaten by zombies.

I swear next screen cap adventure I will find something where we won’t all die in terrible ways.

So a while ago I actually did some “live twittering” as I played Oregon Trail and I told Crystal that I was gonna post the screenshots and general adventure here. OPPS I FORGOT

Until NOW!

so my friends, join me as we play… OREGON TRAIL!

And so here we have our 5 adventurers. Me, Crystal, Sir Yami, Tiffany and Jade.

5 seconds in and an Ox already decided to injure itself…

and this was the first signs that this trip really REALLY wasn’t going to go well (aka Sir Yami and Jade died already OOPPSSS) also it’s really casual with meantioning that they fucking DIED!

OOPPS, CRYSTAL GOT ILL ):

and then she died ): *sob* yep, within about 5 minutes of game play there is only me and Tiffany left on this adventure.

and then Tiffany swiftly broke her arm!

This was amusing to me for many many reasons.

and this was the first sign of Tiffany’s amazing ability to pretty much recover from anything thrown at her.

I was pretty sure that this being what killed off Crystal that alas poor Tiffany would go the same way… but nope, Tiffany has an amazing amune system aparntly.

and then a theif stole our clothes and left us naked. ):

): Daisy was our favourite oxen. May she rest in peace.

Snake’s seem to like Tiffany for some reason.

Yeah I don’t know how Tiffany’s still alive at this point. LOL

and uh… Tiffany got lost? … wait what? Did she get lost in the wagon? Did she fall out? Did she go for a piss not tell me so I went on without her… HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?

And Tiffany then died. ): But considering she survived a broken arm, Cholera, two snake bites and fever and getting lost I think we can say she did pretty well considering.

… Ooohhh. Ouch!

FINALLY SOME GOOD LUCK IN THIS JOURNEY OF DESPAIR. LOOOTTTTZZZ!!11!!

OH CRAP.

Oh shit I seem to have the same amazing amune system as Tiffany.

OPPS NEVER MIND. *DEAD*

and thus ends the journey to Oregon by Karis, Crystal, Tiffany, Sir Yami and Jade. Alas, Jade and Sir Yami where lost early in the journal, Crystal died soon after. Tiffany… somehow survived a whole bunch of shit then just dropped down dead and I died of Measles.

(PS: if anyone know’s any more games sorta like this where I can name characters and are pretty quick to play lemme know I kinda wanna do more screenshot adventures like this :3)